人生不如意事十之八九。这些不如意之事中，有些是可改变的，有一些是超出我们的控制范围、无论如何也改变不了的。这些无法改变之事，会给我们带来愤怒、痛苦、焦虑、无助等强烈的负面情绪。对此，我们该如何化解呢？来读一读本文吧。
I recently saw this sentence in a book: “When we can’t change our situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” All of us have things we wish we could change: circumstances, relationships, and past hurts. But the uncomfortable truth is that there are things in life that may never change, no matter how much we wish they would. Whatever it is in your life, here are three ways to deal with things we can never change.
我最近在一本书里看到了这句话: “当我们不能改变我们的处境时，我们就面临着改变自己的挑战。”我们所有人都有我们希望可以改变的事情: 环境、关系和过去的伤害。但令人不安的事实是，生活中有些事情可能永远不会改变，不管我们多么希望它们会改变。无论你的生活是什么，这里有三种方法来处理我们永远无法改变的事情。
Adjust your course of action.
调整你的行动方针。
I love the old saying, “___▲___” When I find myself in a situation that I wish was different, I won’t ask “Why?” Instead, I’ll ask, “What?” or “How?” What can I learn from this? Or how can I adjust my way to better deal with this situation or person? Or how can I adjust the course in my attitude or approach to better deal with this situation or person?
我喜欢这句老话，“▲” 当我发现自己处于一种我希望与众不同的境地时，我不会问 “为什么？” 相反，我会问，“什么？” 或者 “怎么做？” 我能从中学到什么？或者我如何调整我的方式来更好地处理这种情况或人？或者我如何调整我的态度或方法来更好地处理这种情况或人？
Change yourself.
改变你自己。
Pain and disappointment make you different. But they can change you for better or for worse. I’ve seen people who seemingly have the smoothest lives yet still find reasons to complain and be unhappy. But I’ve seen others whose lives have dealt them very hard hands, who still smile and choose joy. Dealing with disappointment and pain is all about a way of thinking about things. When you can’t change your situation, choose to change yourself. This might mean learning to love that person unconditionally or allowing past or painful lessons to shape future decisions. Change is hard, but not changing is sometimes much harder.
痛苦和失望让你与众不同。但是他们可以改变你的好坏。我见过那些看似生活最平静但仍然有理由抱怨和不开心的人。但是我见过其他人，他们的生活非常艰难，他们仍然微笑着选择快乐。处理失望和痛苦就是一种思考事物的方式。当你不能改变你的处境时，选择改变你自己。这可能意味着学会无条件地爱那个人，或者允许过去或痛苦的教训来塑造未来的决定。改变很难，但不改变有时要困难得多。
Stay positive.
保持乐观。
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